The Holding Space Practice

healing for silent, secret sufferers

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UPCOMING HOLIDAY WORKSHOP AND SELF-CARE SPA - December 28, 2019
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The NEW Holding Space Practice website is under construction.  Soon this page will have a new look!

In phase 2, we will  be adding HSP Courses.  I'm excited to offer online classes and workshops for our many HSP members world wide.

If you want to be in the beta group for those courses, and be the first to see our the HSP Courses Growth Space,  then add yourself to the wait list below!

The NEW Holding Space Practice website is under construction.  Soon this page will have a new look!

We will soon be adding HSP Courses.  I'm excited to offer online classes and workshops for our many HSP members world wide.

If you want to be in the beta group for those courses, and be the first to see our the HSP Courses Growth Space,  then add yourself to the wait list below!

The Story

If you had met me when I was in my 20's and 30's you would have seen a young woman going to school, working, dating, marrying and beginning a family. I would have greeted you with a smile and we may have had some great conversations. You would have seen me as an educated, goal-oriented and successful woman.

You would have had no idea of the deep struggles I had and the self-imposed isolation and darkness I lived with when you weren't looking.

Keeping my internal struggles invisible was how I coped.

I didn't want to burden others or embarrass myself. I wanted to serve others and be good and nice, so I "lost myself" in that service. Being busy allowed me to set aside my internal monsters in public...and I could sob and suffer behind closed doors.

Then, I became a mother.

I had wanted to be a mother from the time I could pick up a doll and hug her. My favorite childhood game was playing house. Being a mother was a lifelong dream and I was thrilled at age 32 to welcome my little daughter into my life and then almost three years later my first son.  But, parenting was much more difficult than I had imagined.

The ability to cope with depression and anxiety by shutting myself away from everything and everyone vanished. You can't leave infants and toddlers to fend for themselves for hours and days.

I tried so hard to be a sweet, patient, loving mom, but
my internal monsters would not let me and it
made me and my children miserable.

I had no idea how to get my children to "behave". I was exhausted and starting to realize that there was a medical term for the symptoms I felt called fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and depression. Even then you would never have guessed I was unhappy and in pain if you met me. If you secretly suffer, I hope reading this helps you know that someone understands.

So, What did I do?

There is not a quick answer. Through a combination of books, courses and various healing practitioners I eventually found answers to some of my questions.

I understood what to do, but usually I had to will myself to behave patiently while feeling like I would explode because how I felt on the inside did not match my outside behavior.

I felt shame and guilt and weak when I could not keep my anger and anxiety bottled inside. As a parent, I would wildly swing from too permissive to too strict.

It was after the birth of my third child who began to have obvious health issues that I began to learn how to get at the roots inside of me. Eventually my internal landscape began to mirror what I had worked so hard to make my outside look like. Bit by bit I felt more peace, calm and the ability to deeply rest.

An accumulation of about 15 years of my personal learning is found in the Holding Space Practice.

Carol Webster, Author of The Holding Space Practice

What You Will Learn

  • Harness the Power of Your Mind

    Once you learn how to control your thoughts you have the power to act instead of being acted upon.  You will not feel at the mercy of other’s behavior then.

  • Take Time to Develop Yourself

    Practicing Holding Space tools for yourself first is the best way you can be of service to others.  Once you are your best self you can fully contribute to your family and society.

  • Recognize and Honor Your Emotions

    Allowing emotions to get stuck or suppressed inside of us because they are “bad” leads to stress and ultimately disease and distress.  Allowing the energy of emotions to flow creates healing and peace.

  • Love Yourself and Others Better

    When you learn to truly love yourself for who you are, you then have the capacity to truly love others.

  • Be Brave Enough to See the Truth

    Being willing to see the truth of who you really are and the stories you tell yourselves is not easy.  When you find the courage to see and face the truth, you can begin to replace unhelpful thinking patterns with helpful ones which will lead to true freedom and lasting peace.

  • Control Your Sub-Conscious Mind

    Though we control our conscious minds quite well, it is our sub-conscious mind that controls us.  Once you learn to control your sub-conscious mind you unlock the power to control your destiny.

What the Experts Say

Lani Peterson

“Wow! After reading Carol’s Book, “The Holding Space Practice”, I am moved and inspired. She has simply and clearly exposed all the human struggles that keep us hostage to limiting self-perceptions. More importantly, she has made accessible a gentle path towards healing and restoration. By courageously sharing her own story of struggle to find deep peace and joy, she has created a simple yet powerful guide for others to follow. I began the process of reflecting, opening, and seeing pathways that could lead to greater insight and change. This helped me not only to overcome any denial that I might be holding, but normalized my experience. We all could benefit greatly from doing this work of opening to ourselves as well as Holding Space for those whom we love.
I look forward to integrating her wisdom into my
own experience of healing and growth.” 

Lani Peterson Psy. D, Psycologist, Executive Coach, and Story Expert

Frequently Asked Questions (construction zone)

    [op_question question="What%20is%20a%20Silent%2C%20Secret%20Sufferer%3F"]We%20all%20have%20some%20level%20of%20suffering%20at%20some%20point.%C2%A0%20We%20might%20not%20even%20recognize%20it.%C2%A0%20The%20most%20silent%2C%20secret%20sufferers%20are%20the%20ones%20who%20look%20like%20they%20have%20a%20near%20ideal%20life%20on%20the%20outside%2C%20but%20on%20the%20inside%20they%20feel%20tears%20and%20have%20secret%20pain%20that%20they%20may%20not%20be%20able%20to%20share%20because%20of%20being%20shamed.%C2%A0%20We%20can%20be%20trapped%20by%20our%20society%20that%20makes%20us%20want%20to%20seem%20normal%2C%20but%20we%20know%20down%20inside%20we%20don%E2%80%99t%20really%20match%20%E2%80%9Cthe%20norm%E2%80%9D.[/op_question] [op_question question="I%20don't%20learn%20well%20from%20reading%2C%20Is%20there%20someone%20who%20can%20help%20me%20personally%3F"]Answer%20one%3A%20There%20are%20plans%20to%20make%20an%20audio%20recording%20of%20book.%0A%0AAnswer%20two%3A%20There%20are%20plans%20to%20make%20videos%2C%20podcasts%20and%20group%20coaching%20to%20help%0A%0AAnswer%20three%3A%20We%20have%20a%20team%20of%20HSP%20coaches%20and%20mentors%20waiting%20to%20help%20you.%20%C2%A0%3Ca%20href%3D%22https%3A%2F%2Fholdingspacepractice.com%2Fcontact%2F%22%3EContact%20us%3C%2Fa%3E%C2%A0to%20find%20one.[/op_question]
    [op_question question="How%20was%20the%20Holding%20Space%20Practice%20developed%3F"]While%20using%20a%20doodle%20journal%2C%20Carol%20one%20day%20wrote%20down%20a%20series%20of%20%E2%80%9Ctruths%E2%80%9D%20that%20came%20to%20her.%20These%20were%20phrases%20and%20ideas%20that%20had%20been%20parts%20of%20various%20conversations%20with%20wise%20healers%20in%20her%20life.%C2%A0%20That%20%E2%80%9Cdoodle%E2%80%9D%20became%20a%20large%20wall%20hanging%20in%20the%20Webster%20home.%C2%A0%20People%20asked%20about%20it%20and%20Carol%20would%20try%20to%20share%20what%20she%20could.%C2%A0%20She%20committed%20to%20write%20about%20the%20concepts%20for%20monthly%20phone%20calls%20with%20a%20small%20group%20of%20friends.%C2%A0%20This%20was%20the%20basis%20and%20beginning%20of%20the%20HSP%20Book.[/op_question] [op_question question="Will%20this%20help%20my%20family%3F"]Answer%20one%3A%20yes%0A%0AAnswer%20two%3A%20Yes%20if%20you%20continue%20to%20practice%0A%0AAnswer%20three%3A%C2%A0%20There%20is%20often%20resistance%20to%20change%2C%20even%20good%20changes.%C2%A0%20It%20might%20feel%20like%20things%20get%20worse%20before%20they%20get%20better%2C%20but%20as%20you%20stick%20with%20it%2C%C2%A0%20you%20will%20find%20more%20peace%20and%20less%20stress.[/op_question]
    [op_question question="Who%20will%20this%20work%20for%3F"]Answer%20one%3A%20You%0A%0AAnswer%20two%3A%20Anyone%20ready%20to%20do%20the%20HSP%20work.%0A%0AAnswer%20three%3A%20The%20HSP%20is%20not%20a%20replacement%20for%20medical%20attention%2C%20but%20professionals%20you%20work%20with%20would%20want%20to%20know%20that%20you%20are%20trying%20this%2C%20so%20share%20it%20with%20them.%C2%A0%20If%20it%20helps%20you%20they%20will%20want%20to%20share%20it%20with%20others.[/op_question] [op_question question="Can%20I%20use%20this%20to%20help%20a%20friend%3F"]Answer%3A%20Yes%20and%20no%0A%0AYes%2C%20if%20they%20want%20to%20change%20and%20are%20willing%20to%20learn.%0A%0AThe%20best%20way%20to%20help%20someone%20else%20with%20this%20practice%20is%20to%20first%20do%20it%20yourself%20without%20saying%20much%20to%20your%20friend.%C2%A0%20Pray%20that%20they%20will%20ask%20you%20questions%20because%20they%20will%20be%20more%20ready%20to%20change%20if%20they%20are%20curious%20and%20willing%20to%20ask.[/op_question]

GET THE HOLDING SPACE PRACTICE MANUAL FOR FREE

Every month we will send you a new module to work on.  The once monthly time frame gives you plenty of time to practice and apply the content of that module in your life before you try to add and practice the next.  Half way through the month you will get encouragement to continue to think about and practice that month's module.