If you are a silent, secret sufferer, your story might be similar to mine.
If you had met me when I was in my 20's and 30's you would have seen a young woman going to school, working, dating, marrying and beginning a family. I would have greeted you with a smile and we may have had some great conversations. You would have seen me as an educated, goal-oriented and successful woman.
You would have had no idea of the deep struggles I had and the self-imposed isolation and darkness I lived with when you weren't looking.
Keeping my internal struggles invisible was how I coped.
I didn't want to burden others or embarrass myself. I wanted to serve others and be good and nice, so I "lost myself" in that service. Being busy allowed me to set aside my internal monsters in public...and I could sob and suffer behind closed doors....
What people say about the Holding Space Practice
“The Holding Space model has been a paradigm-shifting tool for my life. It helps me step aside from my anxieties and natural tendencies towards judgement of self and other, and instead empowers me to embrace what is.
It re-centers me, and reminds me to connect from my heart to myself and others.
The Holding Space Practice gives me permission to feel my feelings, without shaming or rejecting parts of my emotional life, but rather seeing all emotions as valid, that deserve their own space. Emotions can be helpful information, even if they are not pleasant.
The Holding Space Practice draws upon the best principles of the mindfulness wisdom traditions and provides tools that are easily understandable and applied in everyday life.”
--Kansas City, Missouri
One, out of the many, things I LOVE about the Holding Space Practice is how practical it is. It has numerous practical exercises within the teachings that will allow you to take several steps toward being able to hold space.
I will warn you, the exercises are not for the faint of heart, and you must check your ego at the door.
If completed, the exercises are life changing, I speak from personal experience.
Who would I recommend this book for?
Seriously…everyone. There is not one single human being on this earth that could not benefit from this book.
Wow! After reading Carol’s Book, “The Holding Space Practice”, I am moved and inspired.
She has simply and clearly exposed all the human struggles that keep us hostage to limiting self-perceptions. More importantly, she has made accessible a gentle path towards healing and restoration.
We all could benefit greatly from doing this work of opening to ourselves as well as Holding Space for those whom we love.
I look forward to integrating her wisdom into my own experience of healing and growth.”
Psy. D, Psycologist, Executive Coach, and Story Expert
The holding space model is one of those things that once you hear it, it's as if you've known it all along, like it's been a part of you, something that you can't unlearn, you become it.
Holding space for myself and allowing others the space to hold themselves has been freeing. So many stigmas and frustrations have disappeared due to this personal practice. I can see others and accept them as they are without wanting them to change for me.
Holding space has had a particular impact on my parenting practice. When I allow myself to take care of me and apply the principles learned within these pages I am a much more calm and accepting parent, friend and spouse."
The HSP book is one that you’ll want to read more than once. It is short but compact...(like a protein bar….. it has lots of nutrition and goodness in a small package.)
I have read many “self help” type books including books on psychology, spirituality, Buddhism, meditation etc. I recognize many of the ideas from these other books in “The Holding Space Practice”.
The thing that really is unique and great about this book is that she outlines an action plan to actually do something concrete to help achieve your goals. It isn’t just an easy read to uplift you (although it did inspire me a lot).
It is a book of exercises that you will want to do the rest of your life.
I understand now why it is called the “practice”. I only regret that I didn’t have HSP many years ago.
--Lee's Summit, Missouri
When I began learning the Holding Space Practice I was in a very dark place in my life. The tools that I learned helped me overcome struggles and challenges and led me back into the light. I have left them close to my bed to go through them again and again.”
We all have some level of suffering at some point. We might not even recognize it. The most silent, secret sufferers are the ones who look like they have a near ideal life on the outside, but on the inside they feel tears and have secret pain that they may not be able to share because of being shamed. We can be trapped by our society that makes us want to seem normal, but we know down inside we don’t really match “the norm”.
While using a doodle journal, Carol one day wrote down a series of “truths” that came to her. These were phrases and ideas that had been parts of various conversations with wise healers in her life. That “doodle” became a large wall hanging in the Webster home. People asked about it and Carol would try to share what she could. She soon committed to writing about it for monthly phone calls. This was the basis for the HSP Book.
Answer one: yes
Answer two: Yes, if you continue to practice
Answer three: There is often resistance to change, even good changes. It might feel like things get worse before they get better, but as you stick with it, you will find more peace and less stress.
Answer one: You
Answer two: Anyone ready to do the HSP work.
Answer three: The HSP is not a replacement for medical attention, but they would want to know that you are trying this, so share it with them. If it helps you they will want to share it with others.
Answer: Yes and no
Yes, if they want to change and are willing to learn.
The best way to help someone else with this practice is to first do it yourself without saying much to your friend. Pray that they will ask you questions because they will be more ready to change if they are curious and willing to ask.
When you sign up for HSP courses, it includes audio recordings of the Holding Space Practice book, video instructions, worksheets and more. At HSP, we want to help you succeed. We encourage you to email questions and schedule coaching and mentoring calls with Carol and members of the HSP mentoring team.
Do you wish you could get a better job or build a profitable business or have a smooth, harmonic home- life or find a partner that makes your heart sing?
What is the secret of those who have these things? AND, if they “have it all”, are they really happy?
The HSP guides you step-by-step through a process to deconstruct what is unstable and reconstruct a strong, sturdy platform.
Journeys are funny things.
I’m not talking about the well-organized tour group kind of journey.
More like you set a goal in your life and think you know how you are going to get there and then find out there are a lot of detours that force you to take little roads you would have never considered going on had the road block not been part of the journey.
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