Holding Space Practice Mentor

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Emily

Little Emily

My HSP Story

I was introduced to the Holding Space Practice soon after separating for the 4th (and final) time of my 20 year marriage. Band Aid patches had been used the first 3 times and I was thoroughly reevaluating pretty much everything in life. I didn’t know how things would turn out.

I had begun a serious “surrender-in-faith” journey and was finally ready to follow whatever the Lord directed me toward. He was gentle, yet becoming more direct with me. I had been doing my best to ignore myself and my needs for decades. I was a dedicated mother and an isolated wife, helping my spouse hide areas for which he held layers of shame. I was doing my best to be the normal functional mom at home & school, sister in church, wife in public - but the energy it took to put on an outward face was eating me from the inside out.

I was gradually introduced to HSP vocabulary and concepts. The first one I learned to embrace was “Just Be.” I had been hiding for years behind my busy “doing.” I didn’t know how to just sit with myself. I needed to figure it out though. I was an outer shell, having spent so much of my energy in a futile marriage. I needed healing and inner peace. But how?

During an introduction to yoga, I found that a big point of practicing regularly was to connect the mind, body and spirit. At that time I visualized how my spirit had been just dragging my body and battered mind along for the ride. Practicing yoga has served well in my journey towards congruence with myself as it ministers to all three of these aspects. Taking regular time to ground and reconnect all of the parts helps me operate from a much more grounded space.

Learning to observe myself with curiosity has also been extremely empowering. I repeatedly observed that when emotions bubble up inside (big or small) – judgment is not helpful at all. Instead, there’s something I can learn as I allow myself to feel these emotions (in safe and appropriate ways). Stuffing emotions inside some box and locking the lid is no long term method to health or safety. Emotions are a form of communication with us and we need to hear them out in order to move forward in a healthy way. They are a blessing.

There’s so much more I could share, but I certainly feel that the principles and tools that HSP teaches are inspired. Carol has taken her decades of study of so many different cultures, methods, sciences, spiritual tools, etc… - sorted out common threads, and packaged them in a way that others can absorb and apply so much easier than doing all that searching and sorting ourselves.

Each time I spiral through the modules, more and more layers and meaningful applications come out of the woodwork! I love that there’s always more to build on and grow with! It’s an awesome thing for me to watch myself hold respectful, peaceful space for those I interact with while they are experiencing their own journey along the path of life.

Personal Life

I grew up in a military home, moving every few years with my parents and three younger sisters. We were active in our church and appreciated having an instant spiritual family every time we were relocated. My parents were gentle and kind. Both my parents suffered abusive childhood trauma and while it was never openly discussed and they had their faults & ways they individually suffered - they were determined to break the cycle. They did! I am so grateful!

In my young adulthood, I earned a bachelors degree in Marriage, Family, & Human Development, served an 18 month mission to share God’s good news, worked a busy corporate job in Silicon Valley where I met a young man that I felt guided to spend forever with. I was devoted. He had lots of schooling still ahead of him and we had all three of our kids before he graduated with his doctorate. Each child is a beautiful blessing from God! And now, I’m enjoying the toddler years of my first precious little grandbaby!!!

My marriage relationship was emotionally rough and super lonely for me. He fought many inner demons of shame and addiction. I thought I was being patient but have learned in hindsight, that in the process of waiting for him to become emotionally present and stable, I was growing my own layers of shame, grief and betrayal trauma. He felt rejected by me. I didn’t reach out for enough help and stayed mostly isolated during those years. If I had known then what I know now, I would have approached the situation very differently. Ultimately we ended in a fairly amicable divorce.

After the relationship was over, I plunged into a steep and intense healing journey. I’ve been guided to many different tools, systems, and support networks. Each has played a part in my growth and expansion. Looking back, I’m grateful for my unique trials and have learned invaluable lessons.

Besides being a mentor for HSP, I’m also a certified Breakthrough coach through the Breakthrough Foundation. We offer one-on-one breakthrough sessions that walk through a simple process to identify and reinterpret the source of one limiting belief at a time that is currently showing up in our lives in some way. Talk about empowerment in less than an hour!!! I’ve experienced so many personal breakthroughs this way!

I’ve been so blessed and am now engaged to remarry a wonderful, wholehearted gentleman, who is openly willing to dig into hard things and grow from them!