What is Silent, Secret Suffering?

How often do you feel frustrated that you can’t seem to accomplish what you feel like you need or want to?

Do you set goals and have dreams that never seem to work for you?

Why does it seem like some people “glide” through life and get whatever they want?

Why do some people seem to “glow” or be “attractive” while others seem “dark” or “repulsive”?

From my late teens until my forties, I looked happy and successful on the outside, but behind closed doors I was suffering more than I even realized at that time. I knew I had “some” depression and anxiety that I kept secret, but I was able to cope with the worst of it by spending time alone, isolated from everyone I loved.

I hid myself because I was so emotionally charged that I was afraid I would say or do something hurtful. If I didn’t interact with anyone, I wouldn’t snap at them or melt down into a puddle of tears. The intense feeling would eventually pass and I could enter back into society again.

This was the beginning of quietly suffering. I was an ace at "fake it 'til you make it"-- but I wasn't making it at all!

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What is the
Holding Space Practice?

A diagnosis motivated a serious search

That strategy worked OK until I got married and we began our family. It was impossible to hide myself away when infants and toddlers needed direct attention all day every day.

My symptoms progressed into exhausting chronic fatigue and sore muscles everywhere.

I realized at a massage one day these symptoms were called “fibromyalgia”.

The therapist was talking about her own history, but I heard the message loud and clear when she expounded, “if fibromyalgia is not resolved, it leads to either lupus or MS”.

I was determined to find solutions. I wanted to raise my children and be around for grandchildren!

The answers came s-l-o-w-l-y over time, but they DID come!

There is a common idea that “holding space” is about creating an atmosphere for a loved one to grieve or work through a difficult issue. While this is a good definition, “The Holding Space Practice” is about creating, maintaining and expanding a space of love and acceptance first for yourself IN ORDER TO then help others do the same for themselves.

We all want to be happy, capable, loving and loveable. What is it that stops us from living in that sense of happy well-being?

We each have a platform or foundation on which we build our lives. The quality of our energy, emotions, physical body and spirit determine the quality of our life.

A well-built platform keeps a person stable and balanced, especially when things get tough or “when the winds blow”.

The more deeply grounded the supports of all 4 corners are, the more stable and durable the platform.

The Holding Space Practice teaches skills, practices and habits that help you discover your (sometimes subconscious) weak spots.

The practices ground you deep into bedrock and create unwavering stability.

Here is a second analogy: Think of yourself as a container.

For the moment, you can think of the outside of this container as your physical body. For a body to be alive, it requires energy.

From birth to death, energy is running through a central channel of your body.

Imagine a glass with water pouring into it.

The glass is your “container” and the water is energy.

The size and function of your container determines how much energy you can contain and use.

If you can’t manage the amount of energy (or hot chocolate) coming in it can feel like you are drowning.

It might help to have a larger container,

but that just prolongs the spill and makes it bigger when it does spill. The size of the outer physical body is not the important element.

Imagine a tube running in the center of your torso. This tube can be wide and straight or smaller like a hose or a straw.

If there is a block or a kink in a hose, the water can get backed up which creates a lot of pressure.

A system that keeps the energy flowing pure and clean.

But what if you can create a container that allows you to organize and recycle clean, pure energy every day.

The HSP teaches you how to “grow” your container and keep your energy flowing in an organized way by using exercises and practices that are right for you.

To get a sample of an exercise you can try for "unkinking" and clearing energy blocks.

Click on the button below.