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The mission of Holding Space Practice is to teach people life-changing principles and practices that transform emotional suffering into personal resiliency and empowerment.

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May 09, 20232 min read

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" Kindness looks for the good in people, curiosity looks for the truth in them".

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Module 5


There is a popular saying that goes like this:

"In a world where you can anything, be kind." (Clare Pooley).

It's a good thing to be kind. Period. It is. The motivations behind WHY one chooses to be kind are varied. Have you ever felt unkind feelings while acting kind outwardly?

Let's explore how practicing curiosity may help us be kind "in the right way".


  • a co-worker saying something snippy to you, or

  • your 10-year-old refusing to do his chore, or

  • your spouse criticizing you.

In these kinds of moments you KNOW you should be kind.  Maybe you inhale sharply wishing to think of a response that is witty, light and not overly sarcastic.  It's hard to be genuinely kind when you feel hot and bothered. 

What if in those moments you turned your mind to curiosity instead of kindness? 

What if you asked yourself,

  • "Is she upset because the boss just yelled at her? 

  • What is my son thinking about at this moment?

  • Do I have a blind spot that my spouse could gently help me see if I humbly ask?

Turning to a mindset of curiosity slows emotions down and creates space to grow.

It shifts fear to the possibility of love and genuine kindness. 

For pleasers, "kindness" can be used as protective armor to hide behind.  Kindness is about looking for the good in people.  Curiosity is about seeing and respectfully responding to the whole person --the good, the bad, the ugly.  Notice how curiosity feels more actionable and expansive in the mind.

Today's video shows a mom's interaction with her 4-year-old son.  She is certainly kind, but it's more than that.  Her interactions have taught him how to be curious about his emotions and experiences. She has taught him vocabulary that allows him to share his internal world.


Click here to view video

Thought questions:

What can you do to shift to a gentle, curious mindset in any given moment?

What words or phrases could you adopt that you learned from the 4-year-old in the video?

What does the quote below mean to you?


CuriosityGently Notice4-year-old
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Carol Webster

Fascinated by how the mind learns and it's role in our quality of life, Carol has spent decades exploring how to create health, happiness, build emotional maturity and expand love. She is the founder of Principle Based Learning and Holding Space Practice.

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